Welcome to the Suck.

I have become a jarhead. In my opinion.

First of all let me tell you about the hair that I had, that exists only now in the trash cans of barber shops. The woman who raped my hair excists only now to rape more hair. Her professionality is considered questioned and my image in the mirror does not seem to be me. It is a figure I do not know, but whom I will learn to live with. A man without the shelter of his hair. He cannot hide under the cover that once brought him comfort and stability. I can now only wait and recover. Fight my way to accept that what I once had is gone.

Jarhead. I movie I saw and left me feeling numb and speechless. The sign of a good movie. When being speechless you write. The movie brought me the idea of war being nothing but something men do to satisfy the need of other men. Just to clarify, I did not see Brokeback Mountain. Either way, I still would have seen Jake Gyllenhaal's face.

In Jarhead war was seen as something not fought by men on the ground with rifles, but by men in jets executing airstrikes. The men on the ground were nothing but numbers. Numbers to scare the enemy and to stimulate the masses back home. They were there to make an influence merely by their presence. They were trained to kill in order to wait. And that is exactly what will happen to me in the Finnish army. I will be trained to kill just because I need to be trained to kill. Not because I will kill. I will be trained to be a number. Nothing but a number to stimulate the masses. I will not waste a year of my life just to be trained to be a number.

As I walked back from the movie theater there was a moment when I realized there was a chance the president of the nation I live in, would have been someone new. Something would have changed. But in the end people wanted stability. They wanted a woman standing out in the world of men. Still with neutral opinions. And some wanted a man with diffirent opinions. A change. He still would have been a man among thousands of other similar men. One among the mass. I wanted to see what joke Conan O'Brien would tell next about our President. A grey haired man would have probably been less interesting.

Oh, and by the way, the poetry contest was a draw. Nobody won. Everybody lost. And I'm still hooked on Lost.